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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 12:36:15 GMT -5
Post by clusterchuck on Mar 6, 2013 12:36:15 GMT -5
Swiped from a CBS article commentary section:
'Guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender! The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Whiskey."
The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Whiskey."
Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his whiskey.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . . still happy . . . with Barrack Obama???"
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 12:52:16 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Mar 6, 2013 12:52:16 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
That is funny
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 12:59:07 GMT -5
Post by clusterchuck on Mar 6, 2013 12:59:07 GMT -5
How about this one from before the "election":
From a craiglist ad in Central NJ
Fifty year old manure spreader FOR FREE - ( Washington , D.C. )
Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Hawaii but documents look forged but may be made in Kenya . Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii . Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard. Apparently it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn't work very often, but when it does it can really spread the manure and sling it for amazing distances. Unfortunately it is extremely costly to operate. It also comes with a very loud motor which gulps down the oil and grease and is even more expensive to operate. Backfires a lot. Sign on motor looks to be Moochie Brand, I am hoping to retire this manure spreader and motor next November and don't really don't want it hanging around getting in the way. I would prefer a foreign buyer that is willing to relocate this manure spreader out of the country. I would be willing to trade this manure spreader and motor for a nicely framed copy of the United States Constitution.
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 13:12:22 GMT -5
Post by clusterchuck on Mar 6, 2013 13:12:22 GMT -5
Or this one: A Lawyer, an Illegal Alien, a Constitutional scholar, a Pathological Liar, a Muslim, a Communist, a con man and a Black Guy walk into a bar. Bartender says: "What’ll it be Mr. President?"
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 13:16:37 GMT -5
Post by clusterchuck on Mar 6, 2013 13:16:37 GMT -5
Don't know the origin of this one but given government bureaucracy, it certainly could be for real..
New Orleans lawyer Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.
(Actual reply from FHA): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: “Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application.
I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France, in 1803 the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.
The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella.
The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’s expedition… Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. G God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”
The loan was immediately approved.
And you want Government running health care?
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 13:26:59 GMT -5
Post by debto1 on Mar 6, 2013 13:26:59 GMT -5
A CEO, a conservative, and a lib are in a room with a table that has 10 cookies on it. The CEO grabs 9 of them, puts them in his pocket and whispers to the conservative, hey, I think the lib is going to take your cookie.
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Joke
Mar 6, 2013 13:31:36 GMT -5
Post by clusterchuck on Mar 6, 2013 13:31:36 GMT -5
A CEO, a conservative, and a lib are in a room with a table that has 10 cookies on it. The CEO grabs 9 of them, puts them in his pocket and whispers to the conservative, hey, I think the lib is going to take your cookie. HAHAHA! Excellent!
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